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“It’s only too easy to make suggestions and later try to escape the consequences of what we say.” - Jawaharlal Nehru (Indian Prime Minister, 1889-1964) Being accountable means accepting responsibility for the consequences for your actions. People are sometimes quick to give advice. This typically comes from a spirit of compassion, sympathy and generosity - the desire to help someone in need. But if the other person acts on the advice, he or she may end up worse off than before. When someone you care about seeks your opinion, it’s natural to want to help, especially if you sense the person isn’t sure what to do. But if this individual takes your advice, if things don’t work out as expected, and if he or she blames you for what happens, it’s not easy to admit responsibility for the part you played. The problem is, we don't live other people's lives. We don't have all the facts. We don't know what's best for them. To think that we're wise enough to solve other people's problems is arrogance, not compassion. People are responsible for their own lives, and in the end they have to deal with their own problems. And it's good that they do. That's the only way they'll grow stronger and more independent. Most of the time, it’s best not to jump in with your opinions. To do so could send a bad message: that they're not competent to handle life's problems by themselves. However, there's much you can do. You can listen with empathy, which is why most people share their problems in the first place. You can express understanding for their situation; you can acknowledge the magnitude of the challenge. You can affirm their value and worth. You can encourage them to come up with solutions without recommending specific actions. You can affirm their strengths and good qualities. You can remind them about the times when they successfully handled even tougher issues. You can share information and other resources, if you have them. You can be a great help and support, even though you’re not dispensing advice.
Article Source: http://www.articledestination.com
Dennis E. Coates is CEO of Performance Support Systems, author of MindFrames, a brain-based personality assessment system (www.initforlife.com) and co-founder of the Train-to-Ingrain alliance (www.train-to-ingrain.com, info@train-to-ingrain.com, 800-488-6463), which delivers a reinforcement-centered approach to learning and development that achieves permanent, measurable improvements in workplace behavior and positive impacts on business results.
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