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I was talking on the phone with T., my company's talented graphic designer resource. The couple recently had a new baby girl, their second. The older girl is five. In my opinion, T. and J. are the best parents I’ve ever known. They’re so dedicated to their kids and so conscious of nurturing them in the most positive way; and they’re achieving wonderful results. Thinking about them reminded me of one of the main purposes of parenting, which is to help children learn how to live good, effective lives on their own. I vividly recall the time when some house sparrows built a nest in a hanging flowerpot outside our front door. We got to watch the parents feed and care for the baby birds until the day of their first flight. The last bird had to be pushed out, but instincts took over before he hit the ground. As they mature, human children will need more than instinct. Ideally, their parents will help them build strong character attributes, such as persistence, self-confidence, courage, compassion, honesty, integrity, optimism, awareness and numerous other traits. These are nothing more than aspects of inner strength that help an individual deal with the daily challenges of life and work. When kids finally grow into adults, they’ll have to deal with all kinds of hard things. They'll need all kinds of character strength to get what they want in life. People aren't born with character strength. Kids develop it the same way they acquire physical strength, through repetition. Each time a child exercises character strength in a demanding situation, the behavior pattern becomes more ingrained. This is why kids should be allowed to have responsibilities and challenges. This is why sports and demanding teachers can help kids grow up. Actually, childhood itself can dish up plenty of challenges. With good parenting, kids will learn from their mistakes and failures. Parents, teachers and coaches not only pass along skills and knowledge, they help kids become strong as individuals. This is why giving kids whatever they ask for, doing everything for them and failing to hold them accountable does them a profound disservice. Often misunderstood for love, it robs kids of opportunities to grow into strong adults. It's sad to see young adults who don't want to leave home and make their own lives, as well as the parents who accommodate them. Most (but not all) of the children of wealthy families I've known have been poorly prepared to make their way in life. They often grow up to be relatively aimless, weak adults. Typically, their parents are disappointed and perplexed. I'm always amazed at how few parents understand this. Thank goodness for parents like T. and J., who do.
Article Source: http://www.articledestination.com
Dennis E. Coates is CEO of Performance Support Systems, author of MindFrames, a brain-based personality assessment system (www.initforlife.com) and co-founder of the Train-to-Ingrain alliance (www.train-to-ingrain.com, info@train-to-ingrain.com, 800-488-6463), which delivers a reinforcement-centered approach to learning and development that achieves permanent, measurable improvements in workplace behavior and positive impacts on business results.
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