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From: www.indefinitearticles.co.uk Microsoft Windows "MT - Matter Transfer" platform debuts - Bangalore, 9th August 2030 Rory John Gates, son of recently retired father Bill Gates and newly-appointed Chairman of Microsoft Corporation, announced at the company's worldwide HQ in Bangalore, India, yesterday that trials of the company's new Windows MT ("Matter Transfer") device had proved "more than satisfactory". "Although, as with any new technology, there are teething troubles at the outset, we are broadly satisfied with progress to date and aim to release the device to beta testers next month." The MT platform is intended to allow customers to place articles as large as a basketball in a container connected to their PCs which can then be attached to an email and sent to someone else possessing an identical device anywhere in the world. Possible applications include the transmission of valuable objects, such as items of jewellery, scientific and IT devices. Technical staff explained that at present it is only possible to "Move" objects, not "Copy", even to one person, as matter imbalances could occur within the planet. One cynical correspondent asked Mr Gates if releasing the device to the mass market wouldn't just encourage lazy people to send multiple cups of coffee to co-workers, even if working at home, thereby increasing the obesity pandemic, currently affecting 93% of the world's population, through almost total lack of physical movement in daily life. Mr Gates replied that, "It would indeed be wonderful if the MT device could send multiple cups of coffee (or, more importantly, create new forests to resolve the global crisis), but technically it is not possible to create matter, only transfer it. Anyway, how would the system handle different versions of the same cup of coffee for those who take milk and sugar?" It was pointed out that the system could also prove a blessing for drug smugglers. However, future releases will contain software filters to check for the digitised chemical representation of an object to prevent drug transfer. This should also prevent thieves from transferring items from victims' houses to temporary addresses. Similarly, people sending objects anonymously of a romantic nature, such as bunches of flowers on St. Valentine's Day, could have problems. It is thought that flowers are now so expensive due to rarity that this would not be an issue. Mobile versions of the device, allowing the transfer of forgotten sportswear or packed lunches to children, are thought to be far off due to power requirements and portability issues. Quite what happens if the platform crashes half-way through a transfer is not known. Would the recipient get half a coffee, or a whole, transparent cup? As Microsoft systems are now so reliable, however, this was not thought to be likely. In the demonstration, a 1,000 dollar bill, with serial number noted by video link, was transferred from a customer's prototype device in Los Angeles to Microsoft HQ. Reporters were struggling to understand quite how the world had changed, although at least, as some remarked, "MT" did not stand for "empty", as originally suspected. From: www.indefinitearticles.co.uk © Alex MacCaskill November 2005
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