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Last weekend I had to go to a black-tie big-deal charity event. I want to support worthy causes, but oh, man, it’s a stretch for me to have to make that scene! One of the bright spots was to meet and speak with a career educator. She told me about the joys and challenges of teaching and the importance of the role of the parent. Well, of course. It’s the parent, not the teacher, who prepares the young person for life. Teachers and coaches can help, but they receive the product of parenting and work from there. When kids are small, parents take responsibility for them and make most of their decisions. But eventually kids grow into adults, when they’ll have to take responsibility for themselves and make their own choices. They’ll need to be strong as individuals to do this. I like the way Elisabeth Kubler-Ross puts it: “We need to teach the next generation of children from Day One that they are responsible for their lives. Mankind’s greatest gift, also its greatest curse, is that we have free choice.” I know parents don’t always think of it this way, but nurturing strengths of character in their kids is a big part of what it means to be a parent. Kids aren’t suddenly ready to handle responsibility just because they’ve come of age. They have to learn this from experience. Parents have to give kids more responsibility as they grow up, so they can learn from their mistakes. Yet, it’s hard to know how much responsibility to give a child, and parents don’t want their kids to be hurt or discouraged. In a busy life, it often seems less risky and less stressful to make these choices for them. Orchestrating this kind of learning is a delicate matter requiring love, interpersonal skills and character strength on the part of the parent. As I said to this woman, being a good parent is one of the hardest jobs on earth. And as she said to me, kids from all sectors of society are coming to school with “issues.” Teachers can help, but parents have a greater opportunity and responsibility to help kids grow stronger and better for the challenges of life. Nurturing character development doesn't mean "tough love," but it does mean allowing children to deal with challenges appropriate to their age, so they can build patterns of persistence, courage, integrity, honesty, and other strengths they'll need to survive adult life on their own.
Article Source: http://www.articledestination.com
Dennis E. Coates is CEO of Performance Support Systems, author of MindFrames, a brain-based personality assessment system (www.initforlife.com) and co-founder of the Train-to-Ingrain alliance (www.train-to-ingrain.com, info@train-to-ingrain.com, 800-488-6463), which delivers a reinforcement-centered approach to learning and development that achieves permanent, measurable improvements in workplace behavior and positive impacts on business results.
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