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Who doesn‘t like to be pat on the back? That’s like who doesn‘t like sex..hmmm. Not too many; and for those who do not like a Pat on the back for a job well done, they are too busy patting their own back. I call them the totally self- reliant type. Go them! But for us who really like that feeling of pleasing someone with a job well done, I will be first in line for that “Pat”... Pat me baby Pat me!!!!(wink) I have a member on my Womens Self esteem site that has this to say about her own “Pat”, that totally lifted her esteem to a greater high! One of the best ways to raise your self-esteem is to achieve something and then say to yourself “You did good”. Even little things. We just got a fancy new fax machine in our office and I usually get my clerks to send the faxes, but the other day they’d all gone home and I had to get a fax sent urgently. So I went up to the pesky thing, stuck the letter in, punched in the number and hit a green button. It worked! I was astounded. I did good. Shirls (South Africa) You Go-Girl... See that’s what I mean; we do not need to build a rocket in order to do a good job. To be able to feel that you have conquered a beast is one of the best medicines for self-esteem, no matter how small the task. For anyone that knows the dilemma one faces that has fallen to the lows of the self-esteem monster, they will appreciate Shirl’s conquest. Low self-esteem really is not something that people ponder up just to add conflict to their lives. Its not like we ordered it from Losers Anonymous, or are bored and want to shake things up. It royally sux as does any other characteristic we inherit against our will, only to be left with the loneliness that low self-esteem creates within us. When a person that suffers from low self-esteem is challenged with lets say: jealousy issues , it magnifies by the thousands and this is not a joke nor is it an exaggeration. Then, not only do they have to deal with the pains of negative thinking, but they also have to deal with the guilt of how their peers are judging their thoughts. That my friends doubly sux. I am getting into the guts of this so called characteristic flaw. I hate it and I hate even more how so many people find reasons to call it, whining or bitching or a better one is “your issues”. BLAH. Those people have no idea what real true loneliness is about. Seriously, who on this earth wants to feel lonely, or worry about every damn thing, or get caught in a thought that does not want to change its track. Grrrr I say: Low self-esteem is the total opposite of Happiness. Low self-esteem is a very lonely world. Low self-esteem cries out to be understood. Low self-esteem is the outcome of how our society has made women today feel about themselves as real women. Low self-esteem has taken women’s confidence and turned it into jello. Low self-esteem knows no size, color, or education degree or gender. For those of you out there reading this and saying..”get laid” or “get a life” or “stop your pms‘ing, BITE ME!!!! Women suffer childbirth and PMS and Menopause and we have to try to co-habitate with the opposite sex. Do you really think that if we could, we would not have kicked this self-esteem loser to the curb long ago. Frig! Get a grip and put your “little box” thinking in the corner for a minute please. If we are at any time making ourselves heard on this issue, it is truly a cry for help, so that we can be happy and live a good life and give good feelings to the world around us. Sometimes people make noise for a reason, and yes , Peter cried wolf once to many times, but, does that have to be a rule of thumb with every damn thing for the rest of us? PLEASE, PLEASE. HEAR OUR CRIES. HOW, you ask, can one help a person suffering from this hell? Show them the love. Show them you do not blame them. Show them you understand their loneliness and tell them you are there and that no way in hell is a word like low self-esteem going to scare them away or make you think less of them. And that yes, it is frustrating for you also to see them caught in this prison of pain. Hug them a lot and understand that when they react negatively to an issue, it really is not them and it is not against you personally. Its the issue at hand that is being attacked. If you think that we do not feel how confused we make you, with all of our reactions, well you have never been so wrong. We feel it and we know it and we carry the guilt of it every day. In short, we are in this dilemma together. It is like accepting ones flaws. We do it every day, because we are all different in many ways. We want to conquer this “self-esteem” cliche’, as much as you never want to hear it. “Who was that?”, “Why were you looking at her?”, “Am I fat?”, “Does this look good on me?”, “Did I do a good job?”. Also as my title sings “PAT ME PLEASE”, Pat those of us that try and do make steps toward a higher us. It is something to be patted for. And on that note people, “PAT” someone today and you will make their day a very good day!
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Dorothy Lafrinere is the owner and operator of www.womensselfesteem.com. She has been working to help build women's self esteem for many years and is considered an expert in her field. Dorothy's website is filled with information, forums, articles, a chat room for women only and much more. The theme of her website is based on Women helping women build self esteem and confidence.
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