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As we maneuvered into the theater parking lot, my wife directed: "Park under the light pole over there. There's a space open." "What for?" "You don't want to return to a car that's parked in the darkness," she explained with the calm authority of a street-wise denizen of an urban combat zone. Only we don't live in a high-crime area. Not anymore. This was an old pattern reasserting itself, a pattern that probably saved her life more than once during the 26 years that she lived in Houston and Miami. I learned about her rules when she and I began living together in Miami eight years ago. The first rule was about showing your money. I had just bought a lottery ticket at a convenience store, and she pulled on my arm before I could take the first step out the door. "Put your money away before you leave the store. You never want to expose currency out in the open, unless you want to be robbed." At first I thought what she was saying was a little silly. I had spent a year in a real combat zone, and this wasn't the same thing at all. But she went on to explain that practically every month there's a report of somebody getting killed in a parking lot in Miami. She had two cars stolen. A ten-year-old thief had ripped a purse right off her shoulder. Her house had been broken into. Her mother's purse was stolen in a restaurant while she ate breakfast. Her orchid was removed from her front door and lilies were dug up from her garden. Her instincts and her intentions were on target and well intentioned. She didn't want anything to happen to us. I put my money away, and we walked outside. She had lots of rules. - Never leave a package in the car. Put it in the trunk. - Put packages in your trunk only just before leaving the parking lot. - Before you leave a building to return to your car, scan the parking lot. Is anyone hanging around near the car? Are any slow-moving cars prowling the lot? - Before you go to your car, have your keys already out, ready to use. - Even when you're in your car, keep your doors and windows closed and locked. - In traffic, check out the cars around you. Does anyone look suspicious? Are you being followed? - Whether walking or driving, always have an alternate route in mind. - If you believe someone is following you, don't drive into a driveway. Head for the nearest police station. What I saw with my own eyes while living in Miami validated her perceptions, and I learned to follow her rules. Always. I have to admit that doing so made me feel safer, just as following my own rules in Viet Nam made me feel safer. I watched my back, but I didn't like it. After a while, I felt a growing resentment for having to live in an urban combat zone. Even though Miami had a lot to offer, and even though my wife had become a street-wise survivor, a person shouldn't have to always be thinking about how to avoid becoming a victim. I began thinking on a regular basis, someday I'm going to put this miserable place in my rear-view mirror, and the sooner the better. Which is what we did.
Article Source: http://www.articledestination.com
Dennis E. Coates is CEO of Performance Support Systems, author of MindFrames, a brain-based personality assessment system (www.initforlife.com) and co-founder of the Train-to-Ingrain alliance (www.train-to-ingrain.com, info@train-to-ingrain.com, 800-488-6463), which delivers a reinforcement-centered approach to learning and development that achieves permanent, measurable improvements in workplace behavior and positive impacts on business results.
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