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Karen Alonge's Articles

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  • Ending the Battles over Homework
    You have better things to do with your child than spend every night arguing over homework! Here's how to stop the struggle.
  • Preventing Sibling Rivalry
    In most cases, siblings do not want to hurt each other. They simply want to defend their own bodies, possessions and personal space. And they intuitively know how to do that with an economy of effort and force - doing only what needs to be done to restore balance, and then getting back to playing.
  • more inspiration for control freak parents
    You cannot catch a child’s spirit by running after it. You must stand still, and for love it will soon itself return. -Arthur Miller
  • How Do I Get My Child to Be Polite?
    ... by living your own life as an example, and making sure to notice and respond positively to any movement he or she demonstrates in the desired direction.
  • A Simple Trick for Avoiding Power Struggles with your Child
    Tired of the battles? Avert power struggles by telling your child what YOU are going to do rather than demanding, ordering or yelling at them about what THEY should and shouldn't be doing.
  • Sticks and Stones: Are You Unintentionally Driving Your Child Away?
    ... under no circumstances will we allow ourselves to degrade and belittle our children by calling them names. If you cannot resist the temptation to tell your child who he is, then please, tell him good things! This will require a Herculean effort to pause before speaking and check your intention. Is what you are about to say meant to uplift your child? Good. Go for it. Is it meant to control, manipulate, or purge your anger? Zip your lip. Go away. Don’t say it. Simple, but not easy.
  • Pulling the Plug on Virtual Reality: Tips for Parents of Teenage Mouse Potatos
    Here are my sneaky, tried, and true suggestions for helping your teen to find his/her own healthy balance of computer and non-computer time without turning your family life into one big power struggle.
  • The Day I Tried Saying Yes: Inspiration for Control Freak Parents
    You know how sometimes the most profound conversations with your kids occur in the midst of totally mundane activities? Well, last night I was parking the car at the grocery store, and my 8 year old daughter says to me in a voice full of awe, “Mom, did you know that some kids assume their parents are going to say yes?”
  • Joint Custody: 10 Strategies for Co-Parenting with an Uncooperative Ex
    Many parents are sharing custody of their children with angry, bitter, or uncooperative exes. This article suggests some strategies that parents can implement on their own, with no discussion or cooperation from the co-parent required, which will dramatically improve the quality of their own lives and make things much easier for their kids.
  • Stop "Shoulding" on Yourself: Parenting without Resentment
    Don’t let the voice of guilt entice you into overextending yourself on behalf of your kids. Sometimes, the very best thing you can do is refuse to help them, especially if doing so is going to cost you more than you can cheerfully give.
  • Reinventing Time-Out
    Parents are often advised to put their child in time-out as a form of discipline. While this sure beats the old-fashioned method of spanking as a behavior management tool, it still presents a few problems. Not the least of which is … who’s gonna make him go?
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